Finally the time has come, that I’ve decided to share my life experiences and stories with the world .  In the hope that one other person out there may read my blog and gain the confidence or strength to talk to someone close to them about difficulties which they may have in their life .

For years , i hid what i thought was a mental illness behind drug and alcohol addictions , Anxiety and toxic relationships .  The road to recovery is long and hard and i fight everyday mentally , emotionally and physically .

I’ve recently been diagnosed with a rare Neurological Condition called Synesthesia , it’s so rare that I’m among only very few people diagnosed with my types of Synesthesia . This doesn’t mean I am the only one with it, but it does mean there could be others out there who haven’t been diagnosed or have received the wrong diagnosis,  like i did for years  .

Misdiagnosis through the years and not talking about my problems wound me up in Rehabilitation, bad situations , depression and almost to break point .  My recent recovery has given me the strength to talk openly and honestly about my experience .

I hope through sharing my personal thoughts and feelings that someone else with my condition may seek out therapies to be diagnosed correctly . 

Synesthesia: ” is a neurological phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway ” .

In a nutshell it means i think and feel things differently to others . I count differently , I empathize differently , i see music differently and i feel emotions differently to others  .  It’s almost like someone rewired my brain and got all the wires crossed over .

This doesn’t make me any less of a person , it just makes me different & I’ve accepted this , with the knowledge not everyone else will .

I don’t like to view my condition as a mental illness , for me its a gift .

However for years post diagnosis its burden me , I always thought i was  too sensitive , a little crazy or that there was something wrong with me . All the while the answer was right there , just not diagnosed correctly .

I understand a lot of people may not like the experiences I share , or will have their own views on what i should and shouldn’t be saying .

Talking about my experiences is a way to release my feelings and I hope that others will be accepting and non judgmental .

My aim is to be as open and honest and share my personal thoughts and feelings through life . To give people understanding on what goes on through the brain of young woman living with Synesthesia .

I’m still learning about my condition myself and i hope to take anyone who wants to read along , with me on my journey .