I’m slowly reaching 1 year of my journey of recovery and learning.
I have my good and bad days , I find my moods swings are still prominent , however knowing what to look for now helps me manage my moods better which means they are less likely to affect me and others . My amazing partner has been very patient, understanding and supportive through my discovery process. Having the right people around me during this time has been incredible and I feel blessed to have certain people in my life .
One thing that had helped my moods immensely is Chromesthesia. Which is a form of synesthesia which I also have where my mind translates sounds to colour and patterns. As my Synesthesia also translates emotions and feeling to colour, I have found I am able to change my mood simply by listening to certain music. Pretty Amazing huh! It’s so hard to explain what I see and feel when I listen to music, the vibrant colours and patterns each representing their own note and feeling. It takes me to another place, concentrating on the Patterns and colours relaxes me and allows me to bring calm and concentration within myself .
I found a amazing video , of what us Synesthes see – It’s the closest depiction I have found so far of what it’s like inside my brain . I’ve included the link below & highly recommend you watch to understand a little better the phenomenon which is my brain .
During my meditation sessions and yoga classes I’ve been listening to Music, which has allowed me to reach a higher level of practice. I’m still battling through my Yoga Teacher Training and I’m finding that I’m learning more about myself , than I am anything else . A journey to enlightenment is not easy, you need to face and overcome things you’ve buried deep for a long time. I’m finding it even more challenging than recovery. However I’m determined to succeed to my goals of becoming a Sup Yoga & Hatha Yoga Teacher.
Another win was that I took part in my first few classes back at BJJ , Although my Gi pants don’t fit any more and I look like a stuck upside down turtle , it was amazing . For the first time in a while I felt like I was slowly easing back to where I belong. Back to where my comfort and challenges are. Although I haven’t started at the same stage of the path when I left, I’ve started again … and that’s what matters. Recognizing my Synesthesia while on the mats has opened a whole new world. I cannot wait to dive into it further in the New Year. I missed my BJJ family and I’m glad to be getting involved in the sport again with an open noncompetitive heart.
There is something very alike in the Yoga world and the BJJ world which draws me into it. Community. I feel blessed to be on this continuous journey and thank everyone who shares either mat with me .
The Festive season and New Year brings goals of Fitness and health and more self-love and care. More appreciation for those around me , more growth and learning spent with loved ones .
Lesson 17 : Embrace your differences